What do baseball games, barbecues, circuses, proms, and the neighbor's house with the swimming pool, all have in common? People go to them for one reason - Fun! People will go out of their way to have fun. They'll travel further, pay more, and stay up later to have, what they consider, fun.
But, here's the real question: how many of those same people would go to the same effort for the same activities if they had to do them alone? I'll bet few to none. Despite the fact that there are thousands of other people at baseball games, I would never go to one without the company of friends. Even if a former star player made a comeback, I'd be hard pressed to take off by myself to see him play.
No, what makes any activity fun is participating in it with a group of friends. Although, a specific intentional activity makes some difference also. So we see that there are two parts to creating fun: friends and intentional activity. Fortunately, most of our small groups also have these elements, and thus, the potential for having fun. As Christians, we ought to be having more fun than anyone in the world. Not every small group meeting has to be a laugh a minute, but fun ought to be a core value of our group's existence. Assuming we're all in agreement at this point, how do we take these two ingredients - friends and intentional activity and turn them into fun?
That's a little like asking how do you take sunlight and water and make a plant grow? You don't! You put the plant in the right environment with the right combination of sunlight and water, and it either grows or it doesn't. Same goes for having fun in our small groups. We can create the right environment for fun with the right combination of friends and activity, but we can't make fun happen. It's a natural event. But that combination is something we shouldn't discount. Friends in the wrong setting can be less than fun just as strangers involved in a perfectly fun activity can be equally fun-less.
If your group is already good friends, the environment for fun is half set already. If they're not, look for activities that can build those friendships on a long-term basis. In my years of gaining friends and having fun, one thing I've noticed is the amount of fun I have with individuals is almost directly proportional to how well we know each other. Even with persons I have little in common with, if we spend enough time around each other, we somehow learn how to have fun together. Look for opportunities both inside and outside of set group times to build those friendships. Get together for a cookout, go bowling or whatever you do with your friends. Make it a habit to hang out with your small group members. One thing that our group has started doing is eating together before we officially meet. We figured we were all going to eat anyway, so why not eat together? We take turns on the different courses, and I eat better than usual, but the big benefit is the communication and friendship building that happens. Work projects and game nights can also be big relationship builders. Consider anything that gets you to where you know the individuals in your group better.
Remember though, the activity can still determine the fun potential in a group meeting. It's amazing how quickly even great friends can clam up once you say, "alright, let's get started". The right environment for fun is typically set within the first few minutes of a small group. It's for this reason that we should never underestimate the power of the ice-breaker. Especially when given a poor ice-breaker. Just last week I underestimated it's effect—I threw out a question without much thought behind it and then spent the rest of the time trying to force the life back into the meeting. A good ice-breaker though, can be a beautiful thing. Ice-breakers help set the environment by fast-forwarding past that initial awkward time. Don't be afraid to try a humorous question or activity. Even if you're not very funny, people will usually laugh at your attempt, or at minimum you! Search this site, there are plenty of fun ice-breakers here. One I use frequently is called 2 truths and a lie. Each person tells two things about themselves that are true and one lie - the group then tries to guess which one is false. Think about other questions or games that will release the tension and let people relax - those make great ice-breakers.
Once you've set the environment up there is still one more thing you can do to promote fun in your groups. Put on the fertilizer when it starts to grow. It's sometimes hard to predict what activities are going to be fun, and which ones aren't. It's pretty easy to tell though once you start hearing laughter. When you do, let it run its course. You shouldn't feel like you have to keep the agenda that you had when you came into the evening. Remember, the laughter you're hearing is a really good thing. Don't shut it down. Laughter is something that's hard to schedule. You can always reschedule the other stuff.
