Keeping in mind Christ's command to go into the streets and compel people to come hear the gospel, it seems audacious to exclude anyone from a small group. In most situations, I believe newcomers and visitors should be welcomed with open arms.
An open door policy will help group members exercise Christian hospitality. Newcomers offer present members an opportunity to expand their circle of influence. Outsiders bring new concerns to pray for and new needs to be met. At the same time, the newcomer may be the one who will help someone with a solution to an old problem. When someone in our group mentioned a problem with plumbing, a retired plumber who was new to the group offered his services.
Groups that increase in size tend to lose an intimate atmosphere, but that doesn't necessarily need to happen. Our group has grown to about sixty-five members and we continue to function as a close-knit family. We sometimes need to encourage brevity in prayer requests, but people always rally around someone with a special need.
Having stated my support of open membership, I realize there are times when closed membership is preferable. Extreme Grace is a group in our church that deals with hurts, habits, and hang-ups. The very nature of the group suggests caution. What would prevent someone from visiting the group where people bare their souls, and then leave to spread the news?
"We are a closed group," the facilitator told me. "It takes time to grow an intimate group where members feel comfortable with each other. At first some of our group members had zero trust in others and didn't participate much in discussion."
When a new Extreme Grace group is started, there is no cut-off date. "It ends when we finish the material we are covering and have accomplished our objectives," the facilitator said. A new group using the same material will be started when the need arises—sometimes with a former group member as facilitator.
What happens when someone wants to join the group? "This group is closed for now, but we can put you on the list for the next group that is formed." In the meantime, the individual is invited to join a group with open membership. No one seeking spiritual truth should ever experience rejection from the church.
Confidentiality cannot be overemphasized in groups that deal with sensitive issues. Everyone should know up-front what is expected. Extreme Grace does not require anyone to sign a contract, but some groups appropriately do. In any event, each meeting should begin and end with the words, "Remember, whatever you hear today stays in this room."
When group members hope to change a behavior pattern, it is important to encourage accountability. If someone makes a commitment, the facilitator might say, "Would you like to have someone pray with you about that?" If the answer is "yes," enlist a volunteer to pray and follow up with communication as needed.
The objective of meeting the needs of individuals will determine whether your group should be open or closed. Prayer for guidance and help from the Holy Spirit will help you deal with whatever issues you face.
