Question: I've done some reading, been through my church's leadership training, and I still don't think I could sum up my role as a small group leader with one word. Can you?
Answer: Sure! That's easy. FRIEND would be the single word I'd choose. Why? Everyone wants deep friendships. Here's what I think being a great small group leader/friend would look like:
F—Fellowship (and Food!). Adopt every one of your small group members as "temporary" best friends and choose them when you think about doing something fun, need help or want companionship. They're temporary because God has put you together for just a period of time. After that, they may be leading their own group and you'll adopt a new set of best friends to build the kingdom. This doesn't mean that you'll have to divorce them, though. I have deep friendships from past small groups that I will enjoy throughout my lifetime.
R—Redemption. Your cell members are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb and are on a path to maturity in Christ. Love them sacrificially as Christ did, and don't let yourself become critical. Also, it's important that you help them share their redemption with their lost friends!
I—Invest. Spend time praying for and listening to each of your members. As you pray for your members daily, ask God to give you incredible insight into each person as they share at your weekly meetings. Meet with each member individually and ask them where they are spiritually and where they want to be a year from now. Then help them get there with the help of a mentor from your group.
E—Encourage. Cell members need lots of encouragement. Tell them how much you appreciate them when you visit with them. Affirm them in your group meetings. Brag about their value to your group when you talk to your coach or pastor. When you do this, they will be edified and your own heart will be guarded from Satan's desire to move you into "stinking thinking."
N—Nurture. While your members need nurturing, so do you! It's vital to your success that you be transparent with your group members and ask them to pray for you and help you work through issues. This is a sign of strength, and it models something they need to do as well.
D—Discipline. To be a long-term, successful small group leader, you must adopt spiritual and personal disciplines. Don't neglect your spiritual appetite! Spend time with Jesus each day in prayer and in the Word. Also, you'll need to learn to say "no" to many opportunities so you can stay focused on the immediate task God has for you.
Years ago, my brother gave me a little personalized bookmark on my birthday. My name appeared on the top. Below that was John 15:3, which states, "Greater love hath no man than he who lays his life down for his friend." This verse leapt off that bookmark and right into my heart.
Be a real friend to the people in your cell group. Love them deeply! Small group leadership is not about exercising authority or facilitating a meeting each week. It's being the kind of friend that Jesus was to his disciples. He saw them for who they would become, not what they were when they met. He spent time with them and asked them to spend time with Him. Christ taught them how to pray and how to think about things they could not see or touch. He loved them when they did stupid things, and never gave up on them.
Be that kind of friend to your group members and you'll succeed!
Used by permission from www.cellgrouppeople.com.
