"We are created for relationships!" That is our banner for our twice-a-year "Connection Sundays," and we support it in our Discovery classes. That means, when a person joins a small group, all of their relational needs for community will be met, right? Well…not exactly.
Small groups serve so many purposes, so many functions, and meet so many basic relational needs, but they cannot be something they were not intended to be—God. Only God can meet all of a person's deepest emotional needs, relationally or otherwise.
Small groups are the springboards into deeper relationships, not the whole swimming pool! They are the first 10 minutes of a conversation, not the entire phone-call. Our relational needs are so much bigger than what a single small group (or small group ministry) can provide. Just as Sunday morning cannot meet all of our spiritual needs, our small groups cannot meet all of our fellowship needs.
Let's look at some realistic expectations of the "community" experience of small groups, not in theory, but in how they really work! Once we realize that small groups are a springboard, and not the whole pool, then we can be the best springboard we can be! We can do this by realizing that springboards provide:
Great initial contacts—A small group is a place to get to know people, and for others to get to know you. Some of your best friends may develop out of a small group, maybe they will not. Either way, it is just a starting point for deeper, more intimate friendships with people within the church body.
Regular spiritual encouragement—You cannot get this on Sunday morning. It is awesome to have a group that knows what is going on "at work" and "with the kids", etc, and can ask you "what's up?" and really mean it! However, once you leave and go home, you need to have something more to sustain you throughout the week. Small groups can not deliver what only God can provide in a quiet time alone with Him.
Opportunity for you to encourage others—This is that "personal touch" that we enjoy so much about using our gifts. It makes us feel good that we can actually impact someone in a positive way! However, it is not the only place we do this. Hopefully, it hightens our awareness of needs so we can begin to encourage people all around us! If God lays someone on your heart from your group, you can call them up to encourage them over the phone. Small groups create that springboard of looking beyond yourself, and you can then begin to practice it in other areas.
Basic accountability—Small groups provide a place to be challenged in your walk with Christ. If your group has advanced to the place where needs are shared, challenges are discussed, and people ask for accountability on a certain area of their life, then it is a natural springboard to check on those folks with whom you have the greatest connection and affinity. It may even develop into an ongoing accountable friendship that lasts far longer than a small group.
I guess I just hear so many times that small groups should try to meet all of the needs a person has, and it just frustrates me. I have known people who have drained their small group leaders or their small groups because of their demands on the group. They thought that the group (and the leader) was there entirely for them.
When you go into a group with the expectation that it is an incredible picture of the church—a place to learn, share, be loved, and minister together, but not the end-all of our Christian experience, everyone gets the chance to enjoy community. That community can springboard into even greater community in the future.
Let's dive in!!!
