Most life-saving inoculations occur at the very beginning of a person's life. The same is true of small group ministries. The way we promote small groups influences what people will expect from them and, ultimately, how they will engage with others once they are in them. By changing the way small groups are promoted, church leaders can preempt one of the biggest problems in small group life: A consumeristic attitude toward small groups (and the Church!). In other words, modify the tone of 'encouragements for people to get involved' from catering to personal needs to calling people to mission and serving the needs of others.
Small groups offer the right solution, but we need to be sure we are applying them to real needs. Medicine can actually be harmful when there is a misdiagnosis. For example, there is no lack of well-intentioned promises from shepherds encouraging their sheep to connect with one another: "Get connected!" "Find a place to belong!" "Discover community!" "Build Friendships!" "Feel more a part of the family!" Here is the problem with these slogans: They all presume people have a felt-need for more relationship. Most people do not. Furthermore, such tag lines imply things that people may not necessarily experience.
Most people's lives are already full of activities in addition to other relationships they are managing. In fact, encouraging people to develop more relationships with people they do not really know (or know if they want to know) can actually repel people from the community. The truth is…many people really do not NEED to connect with others at their church in the ways that we think they do. It could be very draining to attempt to do so. Time is the chief factor, among many others, that allows for only a limited number of significant relationships in our lives. Most people feel they lack the time they need to nurture the relationships they already have. Add to this a dash of social pressure (like telling people they are not REALLY involved or connected if they are not in a small group) and church leaders can unintentionally weaken their church community with a small group ministry instead of building it up.
Here is the bottom line: People are not inspired to get involved when small groups are promoted as something that fills a personal need. Telling people what they need when they are not feeling this need is counterproductive and possibly irritating too! Even if people have a felt-need for community, it can be presumptuous to think THEY envision the solution as coming in the form of what we understand as a small group.
Instead, convey compelling reasons that tap into what EVERYONE longs to experience: Finding and fulfilling their God-given purpose. The incredible response to Rick Warren's, The Purpose Driven Life, is a clear example of people's desire to find meaning and purpose in life. Communicate how joining a small group is joining in the offensive for God and His Kingdom. It is a fundamental step toward putting one's faith in action. Small groups provide the needed encouragement of being true to our calling as the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16).
More people will be excited about being connected in a small group if our primary communications place more emphasis on making an impact for God's Kingdom on earth and pushing back the darkness than on helping them feel a greater sense of belonging. True community (belonging) is built through shared sacrifice and serving. Genuine spiritual growth and personal meaningfulness come when we do the things Jesus did. (Colossians 1:3-14; 1 John 2:3-6)
One of the small groups I led was made up of guys in all different places in their relationships with Christ. For one of our meetings, we decided to drive downtown Washington D.C. and reach out to the homeless on the streets of Georgetown. We made sandwiches and put together lunch sacks to give away. All of us were extremely unnerved. Everybody knew they were stepping outside their comfort zones, so we paired up, went out two-by-two, and shared the love of Christ with people we encountered on the streets.
Some of the people we met were living on the streets, and we struck up conversations with others who were passers-by, intrigued by what we were doing. The homeless were so grateful for the care packages we had put together for them. A couple of interactions we had were rich and resulted in people being interested in learning more about Christ. However, the greatest change had to do with the guys in the small group. Each of them did something they would have never done on their own. We stepped into trepidation together, and it changed our fellowship forever.
A strong bond of friendship was forged that day by obedience to serve the needs of others. By meeting Christ on the streets, we met with one another in a whole new way upon our return (Matthew 25:34-36). We were changed on mission that day as individuals and as a small group.
People's sense of belonging comes much more quickly and powerfully from giving themselves to loving Christ by serving people than it does from connecting in a small group. Connection really is more a means to an end: Connecting unbelievers to Christ. The call to small groups is primarily a call to mission.
"Connect so others can belong"
is the new slogan for small groups today! We want believers in small groups so they can take an active role in fulfilling the mission of the Church, versus focusing on the deficit of real community they may or may not be personally experiencing.
God wants believers to partner with Him in His mission in the world (2 Cor 5:17-20). Every believer is called to be a functioning part of Jesus' Body on earth (the Church), which is God's chosen means for bringing the Good News to all people groups across the globe. The way each believer can be a functioning part of the Body of Christ is to connect with others and use what God has given to him or her (in way of time, treasure, and talents) to be a blessing to others.
An eternal ripple effect is instigated when believers pursue their God-given purpose in life-giving relationships with Jesus Christ and others. Therefore, the invitation into a small group is really an invitation to engage in The Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). It is how we can be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power (Eph. 6:10-18).
The Enemy will not stand idly by when someone is contemplating whether or not to be in such a small group because he sees it more as a potential battalion for Christ than a passive bastion for believers. The former is a threat to Him because it is dynamic and goes on attack for God and His Kingdom. The other is stationary and defends its position which suits the Enemy just fine while He works his hell-bent tactics on hundreds of millions of unsuspecting people. The way to build battalions is to speak to the dormant passion in the hearts of many believers to be on mission.
A missional vision for small groups can be cast through your promotion of small groups by communicating that connection is a pathway for mission. Evangelism can be woven into the expectations of people in small groups by motivating them to connect as a necessary response to the purpose the Lord has for their lives. Believers can then experience the overwhelming joy of furthering God's Kingdom as a result of fulfilling their God-given purpose in and through biblical community with others.
To join a small group is to join in God's mission.
When believers are gathering others into God's eternal community, the Lord will source life into whatever their relational needs might be. This is applying Jesus' 'kingdom-first' exhortation to our public promotions of small group ministry and our personal needs (Matthew 6:31-33). When we tell believers they should connect with others in our churches, it is not so much that THEIR needs—whatever they interpret them to be—will be met (truth is, they may or may not be)…it is more so they can be effective in the purpose to which God has called them: To make disciples!
1. A consumeristic attitude results in people looking at the Church as a dispenser of goods and services. They analyze the Church solely on the basis of how it benefits them and exhibit a strong sense of entitlement toward its ministries. One example is a serial church shopper and hopper. This kind of thinking and pattern of commitment (connection) and up-rooting (disconnection) was unimaginable to the Apostle Paul; as ludicrous as repeated amputation, which is in effect what people are doing when they remove themselves—apart from God's leading—from the fellowship to which they've been called to be blessed and be a blessing. It injures themselves and those they were meant to build up (1 Corinthians 12:7, 12, 27).
2. Biblically, "God's Kingdom" may be understood as God's authoritative rule and reign over heaven and earth.
3. 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 = "17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."
