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Group Graces
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Now, a key thing to remember about “little graces” is that they have no meaning outside the context of community. Without community, there is no need for spiritual gifts. God gave them to you as an expression of love for the sake of investing in the lives of people around you. That is why in 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about how ridiculous it is for a person with one gift to look at someone else with another gift and say “mine is better than yours” or “I don’t really need you”. It makes no sense. There is no “I” in spiritual gifts outside the context of “we”. You see, God himself is present in places where each person uses his or her spiritual gifts as part of the team to bless others.
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The Importance of Embracing Conflict in Small Groups
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If you lead a small group, sooner or later you will most likely have to deal with conflict in it. Unfortunately, conflict is a consequence of people really sharing life together. Why is it likely that there will be conflict in your group at some point? Because you cannot bring together a room full of people from different cultural, social economic, religious, and family backgrounds and expect them to always agree on every issue.
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Troubleshooting
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Small groups provide a life-changing environment and support system where members can share struggles and encourage each other. Through their nourishment, members develop and grow spiritually and even improve life skills. Small groups also build a sense of family and community.
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Deal With It!
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Conflict happens. You cannot always anticipate it, but you know it when you have stepped into it. The temptation is to avoid conflict, but that is a mistake! The key to handling most conflict, most of the time, is to deal with it head-on and right-away in love.
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Steps for Resolving Small Group Conflict
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Tom and Nancy met in their church small group. Over time, the two developed a romantic relationship, despite their obvious differences. When they announced their intent to marry, the group members were concerned, but supported them. Unfortunately, suspicions were correct.
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Cantina Man
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What do you get when you combine women, men, married people, singles, recent college grads, a middle-aged couple, Democrats, and Republicans? No, it is not a joke. It is funny, though. It is my small group.
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When You Discuss a Book Other Than the Bible
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Small groups often discuss books by Christian authors, one or two chapters at a time. The next time your group chooses a book to read--and it doesn't come with a study guide or questions for group interaction--employ the following tips.
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Are You Listening?
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One of the many human weaknesses is the ability to listen to one another. Think about the times when you were aware that the person to whom you were speaking had one ear tuned to the conversation on his or her left. “No, her name was Susan!” they might have contributed to the near-by conversation. Or perhaps you were discussing something important and your listener glanced down at her watch, or shuffled papers, or walked around the room! What kind of message is she sending? The ability to actively listen and care for one another is rare. In a small group setting, the inability to listen to one another inhibits the development of a trusting environment. Who is inclined to share personal concerns and difficulties knowing that the listening ear is unavailable?
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Listening Leaders – An Oxymoron or an Outgrowth Of Love
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I used to think that my lack of listening to people was due to either adult ADD or an extremely overactive leadership gift. I figured that some were gifted at listening, I was not, and therefore I could excuse it away. I really thought that to be a good leader AND a good listener was extremely difficult, if not impossible.
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Preparing to Listen
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Someone said that when you’re fifteen years old, you are concerned about what others think about you. When you’re forty-five you really don’t care what people think about you. When you’re sixty-five, you realize that no one was thinking about you anyway! The truth is that all of us spend most of our time thinking about ourselves. Paul the apostle even said, “For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 2:21).
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