Few leaders understand what it takes to lead and build a growing small group structure. We all have some ignorance and few of us ever received training in the area. We resorted to trial and error, and learned along the way. Building this at Willow Creek has been an adventure, with successes and failures along the way—and we are still figuring it out! But we learned some coaching lessons that I'd like to pass along. It will help you build and maintain a great Coaching System.
1. Maintain Healthy Spans of Care
How many leaders a coach can care for depends on ministry requirements and the coach's other work, family and life responsibilities. Emulating Jethro's Exodus 18 wisdom—using ratios of 1:5 and 1:10 to ensure care for all without anyone caring for too many—we concluded that most coaches should care for no more than five leaders. Many of them are responsible not only to shepherd those leaders, but they are also responsible not to lead a small group, so they can focus on small group leaders.
When you connect leaders to a coach it's like connecting branches to a vine. If the vine is weak or becomes detached, the branches suffer. Or, if too many branches are grafted into the vine, the vine cannot support them, and they wither and die.
2. Coaches Are People—Not Pipelines
In our zeal to get on with the next ministry initiative, we have, at times, neglected our coaches. Once a needed lifeline to sustain the ministry, they soon became mere channels through which we could distribute ministry responsibilities. In other words, the coaching structure became a collection of pipelines, a set of impersonal spiritual plumbing used for delivering the next new ministry project.
A "ministry structure" is needed, but must maintain a shepherding flavor throughout the system. Coaches need to be pulled aside from their ministry responsibilities for ongoing development, care and support. The coach must be seen in the same way as a leader—as a person with needs, goals and concerns. We must remember: The structure supports the people—the people do not support the structure.
The bottom line is that leaders want shepherding first, teaching and training second, and leadership (vision, instructions on what to do, how to manage their ministry, etc.) last. Our leaders have a pretty good idea of what makes effective coaching. Basically it honors a leadership rule we have espoused, the 80/20 split. As we often say, "You have to feed leaders 80 percent of the time in order to earn the right to lead them the other 20 percent." We realized we had to earn the "relational authority" to disciple and lead our people. Simpler said, "Love 'em, then lead 'em!"
3. Beware of Stagnation in Coaching Huddles
Huddles are the single hardest thing a coach has to do. Why? Because first, few coaches do huddles well; and second, huddles are held on the coach's time, not the leaders' time. It is not a regular weekly meeting and is often scheduled every six to eight weeks at the coach's convenience.
It takes planning and vision to make a huddle experience worth attending. Great huddles demand creativity, engaging communication, and a better than average aptitude for spiritual nurture and stimulus. We have learned to increase huddle attendance and effectiveness by creating "super huddles." Rather than laying the entire burden of a great huddle on the coach's shoulders, a staff member organizes a quarterly gathering of several coaching huddles in one room. Here we can relieve coaches of ministry planning and training responsibilities. The result is greater community, more energy and wider resources and interactions. The rhythm of regular huddles and quarterly super huddles throughout the ministry season seems to serve the small group leader quite well.
4. Make Encouragement the Focus of Small Group Visits
Coaches who visit their leaders' small groups sometimes feel like uninvited wedding guests. Everyone wonders, "Who are you and why are you here? Do we know you?" Encouragement is the best antidote for small group members' discomfort. Coaches visit groups to observe and assess, but these visits are more powerful when the coach goes in as an encouragement maniac. Warmly greeting members as they arrive at the meeting, encouraging the group, affirming the leader in the front of the group, and praying with the leader before and after the meeting will raise the comfort level.
5. Don't Settle for Superficial One-on-Ones
Coaches meeting one-on-one with small group leaders find it tempting to stick to business. They start safe discussions about curriculum choices, group attendance and church issues. How do coaches overcome the superficiality barrier? Learn to love these leaders. Ask searching questions. What is their love language? Where do they struggle? What would help them grow most? How best can you serve them and their family? Simple acts of service also help coaches remind leaders how much they care. One-on-one times with leaders should focus on care and growth, not "so what do you think about the crisis in the Middle East?" Leaders can get that anywhere; they can only get support from you.
6. Work Harder at Coaching Task-based Leaders
Task-group coaches need support and clear instructions. Make sure they know the task and its priority. And make sure everyone knows what "success" looks like. They need to hear "It's OK" if your groups don't do as much Bible study, or have to shorten the relational time to make sure the task is done well. Task groups tend to compare their performance with standard home or cell groups. The task is the tool to develop people; it is not a necessary evil. Jesus gave his disciples ministry tasks to test them, train them and develop servants' hearts. So use the task, don't resent it. Coaches will have to do more of their ministry in one-on-one settings with task-based leaders, instead of huddles. But the payoff is more than worth the investment.
7. Invest in Coaches Personally and as a Group
The Small Group Pastor (whether paid or volunteer) should spend about two hours per coach each week. This includes prayer, development, skill training, recruiting apprentice coaches and individual time. Get your coaches together for meals, meet them at work, and invite them and their spouses to dinner. This is a relational ministry, and they will reproduce in their leaders what they see in you. Once a year have a Coaches Retreat or gathering that honors them, teaches them and builds their spirits—even if you only have three to five coaches, this is worth it.
Selecting great coaches and giving them full support will help you make great strides toward a system that works. After all, the "system" is people; and when you build the people, the people build the ministry. Don't settle for anyone who can fog a mirror. Select proven leaders who have shepherds' hearts and a vision for the church. They make great coaches. And then watch what God does!
