Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier when he became the first person to fly an airplane faster than the speed of sound. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in major league baseball when he became the first black player for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Roger Bannister became the first person to break the 4-minute mile barrier when he ran the distance in 3 minutes 59 seconds! The thing that makes these barrier-breaking people special is they "went first" in their particular area of activity.
Probably like most of you, I haven't broken any barriers that will get my name in world-record books. But, as a small group leader, there are many practices where I need to be a barrier-breaker for my small group—many areas of activity where I need to "go first." That's not to say I'm disagreeing with Jesus' words that the "first will be last, and the last first." (Matt. 19:30) Rather, when I say "go first," I'm simply agreeing with Jesus' words when He said: "I did this as an example so that you should do as I have done for you." (John 13:15) Like Jesus, Barrier-breaking small group leaders will be an example and model to their small group by "going first" in many areas of New Testament Church life.
As I have looked back at the last 15 years or so of being a small group leader, small group coach and small group pastor, I've connected with many group leaders having a variety of personality types and backgrounds. Many of those leaders were able to facilitate a good Bible discussion and create some context for Christian community. However, I've observed that regardless of personality, some group leaders become barrier-breakers for their groups and some do not. The difference? Barrier-breaking small group leaders help their group members embrace the group's mission, apply God's Word deeply to life, model healthy relational patterns, and multiply the group's ministry into others. My experience has been that the reason barrier-breaking small group leaders can walk with their groups to these higher levels of growth, maturity and mission is that they humbly "go first" in several key areas:
- "Go first" in being real with your group. Being real is a big deal! Being real means sharing personal struggles, sharing how God's Word has been convicting and transforming you, and confessing sin to one another. Obviously, some wise discernment and confidentiality needs to be applied when it comes to disclosure and transparency within a small group. But, you can be sure the group is not going to be real unless the leader is. If the leader is not going first in areas of honest confession, speaking the truth in love, and confronting sinful patterns in lives, then the group is not going to get through some key healing barriers. As James says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (James 5:16). As leaders model transparency and confession, the darkness in group member's lives begins to lose it's power. It is then that the group begins to see themselves and others as Christ does.
- "Go first" in building relationships with your group members outside of your normal group meeting time. "My goal is that they will be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love" (Col. 3:2). The Apostle Paul knew that spiritual maturity barriers could not be overcome unless Christians became connected in healthy, caring, encouraging, confronting, and unconditionally loving relationships with one another. Small groups are a great place for people to get connected, but to assume that spending two hours together with a dozen people every week or two is going to make you "knit together" is not realistic. Barrier breaking leaders go out to breakfast or have lunch with group members, have group members over for supper, or even invite themselves over to group member homes just to hang out!
- "Go first" in giving away part of your leadership to emerging leaders in the group. We cannot eventually replace ourselves or start new groups without new leaders. Trying to lead in isolation often puts a barrier on our ability to continue reaching out and including new people in our groups. Developing new leaders around us is also at the center of Jesus' command to make disciples in Matt. 28:18-20, and Paul's admonition to Timothy to pass on leadership in 2 Timothy 2:2. Barrier-breaking small group leaders make the "ask" of others in the group to step up and begin assuming some of the group leadership roles.
- "Go first" in inviting new people to the group. It's been my experience that in groups where the value of growth and outreach is verbalized, you'll likely not see much happening until the group leader starts bringing new people to the group on his or her arm. Barrier-breaking small group leaders reach out and invite new people into the group, just as if it were a "normal" part of group life.
- "Go first" in multiplying the group. Effectively multiplying a group or birthing a new group out of an existing one is one of the most challenging, yet most barrier-breaking experience a group can go through. A group cannot and will not multiply unless a barrier-breaking leader casts the vision early and often that group multiplication is a part of God's overall plan for expansion of His Kingdom. Barrier-breaking group leaders also go first in acknowledging the reality of the grieving process associated with group birth, but also are the first to share their excitement to step out and launch a new group.
- "Go first" with developing an ongoing plan for your own personal growth. It's been said you cannot lead people to a place of growth that you have not been to! If you have a small group leadership coaching/shepherding system within your church, submit to meeting with your coach and participating in training events. If you don't have an "in-house" group leader nurturing structure, then it's your job to create your own leadership nurturing system. Regardless, you must submit yourself to plan that includes frequent Bible reading, prayer, skill training, leadership development, and community with other leaders.
Whether it is as basic as being the first to model the response to an ice breaker question or leading the way to multiplying your small group, barrier-breaking small group leaders humbly "go first" to show the way for others in their group! You won't get your name in the world-record books, but you will make a difference for all eternity.
