When you hear the words "small group multiplication," what comes to your mind? When I visit groups who have never multiplied and mention the idea of group multiplication, I often get a lot of resistance from group members. I have found that when I talk generically about group multiplication, group members who are new to the idea mostly hear it in negative terms. To them the term "multiplication" sounds a lot like "dividing" or "splitting."
That is why it is important to talk about multiplication in positive, even fun terms. Many group leaders have adopted a more organic terminology for multiplication and call it "birthing." Birthing is a great metaphor because it provides all sorts of useful and fun analogies but still reflects the reality of the small group birthing process.
At our church we've tried to leverage the birthing analogy to the greatest extent possible. We even have a lot of fun with it. Our small group leaders are coached and directed by church leaders who play the role of "grandma" to "expecting" small group leaders. You know grandma's role, don't you? As young first-time parents, when you first find out you are having a baby, there is usually someone who likes to "share some advice" with you about what it is like to have a baby. Sometimes it is a parent or grandparent.
What do you think Grandma would say? If the small group coach is playing the role of "grandma," he or she would say the process of group birthing, just like having a baby, is joyful and fruitful but not without pain and discomfort.
With that in mind, here is a little of grandma's advice on how to prepare, what to expect, and how to cope with a small group birth.
This chart was adapted from a workshop at the Willow Creek Small Groups presented by Greg Bowman.
Stage
| What to Expect | Common Questions | How to Cope |
| Family Planning | -Catch vision and discus. (Oh, we'll have a baby someday!) | -Why would we want to do this when things are going so well in our group right now? | -Know God's heart is for us to be fruitful and multiply. -Celebrate the growth of people. |
| First Trimester | -Find out your pregnant (you are able to have a baby.) -Apprentice develops. -Tell the whole family. -Morning sickness starts (uneasiness). | -I can't believe this is going to happen? -Objections and fears start to arise. | -Time. -When you're pregnant your hormones get all out of whack and you get emotional. That's OK, it's part of the territory. |
| Second Trimester | -It becomes more accepted that you're pregnant and you start to show. -You get bigger. But all realities of that increased size haven't been fully accepted yet. | -How is my life going to change? -How will my relationships change? -Will I matter as much to the people who won't be in my group? | -Keep growing. You start to think getting bigger may not be so attractive as it first seemed, but you really can't stop the process now, and if you do, what's it called? Abortion! (unfortunately churches perform many spiritual abortions) |
| Third Trimester | -Bigness is becoming awkward. You can't even do some things you used to do. -You make final plans and preparations for the baby to arrive. | -How will I know when the baby is ready to come? -Which group will I be in? -How will we decide? -Will I have a voice in the decision? | -Frequent doctor visits (visit with small group coach). -Seek the great physician often. (pray) |
| Birth Day | -Pain in cycles. -Excitement builds. -Complications possible. | -Can we stop this process? -Is the baby alright? -Is it healthy? | -Have a party! |
| Well Child Care | -Frequent checkups. -Sleepless nights. -Pack up the gear. | -Is the new baby doing OK? This group isn't thriving as good as my last one? I am feeling a little spent and not as built-up as before the birth. | -Ask yourself: Is it worth it? What's the value of this baby? Value of the next soul? -Sometimes the baby sleeps in the room with you for awhile. -Family Reunions. -Plan for the next baby. |
And here are a few other tips from grandma:
- You want this to be a natural birth, not a C-section. Don't force it! As leaders, we don't want to dictate where people go. Nobody will be forced. We want the group to own the decision and goal. In some ways, leadership's responsibility is not so much to multiply groups as it is to multiply leaders. Actually, group birthing is just a by-product of leadership multiplication.
- It's not necessary for the groups to birth evenly. One group may retain 10 people and a group of 4-6 may birth out. That's OK. Additionally, it needs to be emphasized that birthing need not break up significant relationships. It is not anyone's desire to separate individuals/families with tight bonds.
- Group multiplication does not mean total group separation. Frequent reunion events and gradual "phase in" of the birthing process are all important strategies to insure the health of all groups.
- Make sure to celebrate each step … decorate the house with baby balloons and pass out cigars!
