All right, maybe I'm stretching quite a bit to make a connection between the popular female R&B group Destiny's Child and small group experience. But the group was born out of the coincidental meeting of two 9-year-olds, named from a verse from Isaiah, who often sings songs about the quest for destiny and purpose. If the group is big, maybe it's because the underlying themes they explore are big for the emerging generations of seekers and disciples. Is there a shift in motivation for getting involved in small groups?
In my pastoral experience, small group ministries first emerged from the yearning to discover more about yourself, your God, and your relationships. It was a means to learn more, go deeper, get in touch with your real self, and either face your unsavory past or recover your true heritage. It was all about "being" someone authentic, and getting to know Jesus, the New Adam or the Truly Authentic One, was the way to do it.
Lately I am finding more and more people disinterested in small groups. Sure, they valued the learning and growth that was accomplished. But it's over. Now what? These people have not only been in small groups most of their lives, but they have also been in psychotherapy and devoured self-help books, participated in Christian education and devoured the Bible, and even talked to clergy and devoured contemporary music. And there fundamental stance in life and church is: Now What?
It seems that more and more people are looking for a different kind of small group. It's not about being authentic, but about becoming purposeful. It's about discerning the hidden spiritual intent behind the coincidental meetings of 9-year-olds … or 21-year olds. It's about discovering that "thing", the pursuit of which will fulfill one's life, and staking everything you have to chase after it.
If the old small group concentrated on getting to know Jesus, the New Adam, then the new small group concentrates on getting to know Jesus, the Apostolic Pilgrim. The fundamental point of the group is not to learn something new about my personality type and spiritual gifts, nor even to learn something new about the Bible or the work of the Holy Spirit. The point is for a handful of travelers to scan the horizon to discover where Jesus may show up ten years from now, and then count the cost of discipleship to decide what would personally have to change in order to join Jesus there.
It is this yearning for a personally meaningful destiny that is, I think, driving the small group ministry of the future. People simply want to go beyond acceptance by Christ to being special to Christ's mission. The shift is not without its perils, and churches unprepared for this shift in motivation are liable to be thrown into confusion. Here are just two challenges:
a) The resurgence of ego:
Small group ministries of the past tended to encourage humility. The personality conflicts subsided, individuality surrendered to intimacy, and unity and solidarity reigned supreme. Indeed, we tended to measure success by the degree to which profound bonding eliminated preoccupations with self. In short, egos were checked at the door.
But the destiny-driven small group experiences an uncomfortable resurgence in ego. Mature thinkers will realize that not everyone can be a hero who changes the course of history for Christ, but that does not mean than one can be heroic and change the course of career for Christ. This desire to be heroic, to be somebody for Christ, to mark the world as a different and better place may disrupt the harmony of the traditional small group. It will keep leaders guessing … Is it mere selfishness, or is it a wild desire to walk in the footsteps of Jesus?
b) Beyond mentoring to midwifing:
Small group ministries of the past have always required gifted and called mentors to lead the group. They were hard enough to find and train! We went to elaborate lengths to ensure that every group had a competent leader. Indeed, we tended to measure success by the adequacy of our system for identifying and equipping volunteers.
But the destiny-driven small group may not be well served by a machine-like system to recruit and train small group leaders. They require spiritual "midwives" who are not easily raised and certified by our spiritual equivalent of the American Medical Association. These are fringe people…maybe weird people. And their "weirdness" may not be readily apparent to the church, or even to themselves, until some unexpected spark of the Holy Spirit sets them off. When Bill Easum and I first used the term "spiritual midwife" in our book Growing Spiritual Redwoods, people wanted to use the words "mentor" and "midwife" interchangeably. Yet they are very different creatures. Mentors facilitate the growth of friends. Midwives facilitate the birth of heroes.
When I study the systemic reasons why churches thrive or decline, one of the most common reasons for failure is that the church cannot move beyond spiritual growth to discernment of call. Both can involve small groups … but they are very different small groups. My intuition is that both seekers and disciples are yearning to go where no one has gone before.
