Four years ago, I left the "Boomer" world of doing church and delved into the mystical world of postmodernity here in Denver. My family and I joined a leading postmodern church called TNL. I became close friends with the founding pastor. I studied and read every church and book I could find about connecting with postmoderns. I went to the leading conferences like FutureGen and Soularize. I extensively interviewed many pastors leading successful postmodern churches. I started hanging out in coffee shops (though I am not a coffee drinker) and bookstores developing relationships. I started 3 home groups reaching "postmoderns." And just last fall, I began planting a church (Connected Life) with these home groups. Our target group? Yep…those postmoderns.
In August of 03, we rented a local bar (we are becoming known as "church in the bar") to meet in and use that setting to develop emerging communities, around tables, for the purpose of launching a small group. So what! What have you learned about authentic biblical community that you did not know before? I say all of this to say this. As a small group junkie, I wanted to see if there was anything significantly different or unique that I could learn from these emerging churches about doing small groups that I did not get when I was leading and championing groups in the Boomer style church. And you know what I learned?
Granted, this is the "keep it real" generation. Authenticity and Community are huge core values to postmoderns. But what I have learned is that there is not a basic difference in the core competencies that are critical for successful small groups. Oh the words may change and the setting and style. Call it whatever you like but the basics are still the basics. Our small group basics at Connected Life (church at the bar) are worded differently than when I was at the big boomer style church. But they are still the same nuts and bolts of authentic biblical community.
Real Acceptance
We use the term grace a lot in church lingo. That word taught us that everyone matters to God and should matter to us no matter what his or her struggle is in life. One thing unchurched postmoderns do in our small group connections is freely admit their struggles. It can be pretty raw and shocking at times as they share their struggles from homosexuality to maxing out credit cards. Sometimes four letter words are used. But that's ok. Remember they are not redeemed yet. Our goal is to take them where they are in life when they come to us to where God wants them to be. It takes patience, genuine care, and real acceptance to walk with them on that journey. It can take years. But that real acceptance will lead to creating a trusting relationship that can then lead them to trust Christ and become a follower. We must extend love and grace to all regardless of where they may be in life and provide a safe place during life's challenges.
Real Community
God made us to crave this whether we admit it or not. He made us to want to "do life together." This is demonstrated in many ways from hanging out at a home together, going to a movie, camping, fun stuff, etc. Perhaps it is best seen when group members need a meal, a bill paid, clothes, a place to sleep, a job, help, stuff, etc., and the group members jump into that need with all that they have and do whatever it takes to meet it and care for that individual or family.
Real Bible Study
The Bible is God's perfect guide, inspired by Him and given to us. We value sharing this within our community to help each other navigate the journey of this life and to prepare for the life that comes after this one. We strive to uphold this value by providing forums for teaching, learning & discussing God's truth. Some who come to us do not believe the Bible or they attribute it the same value as the Koran. It can be tough leading a Bible study with someone who does not accept it as truth, but still they come and engage. They respect a diligent study and quest for truth and someone standing firm on what they believe. Gradually over time, the blinders come off and they see the truth. The Spirit of God moves in and guides them on the journey of being set free from sin.
Real Life Change
Talk is cheap. People do not want to be a part of a spiritual community unless it makes a difference in their life. There is a lot of "spirituality" in the postmodern world that leaves one empty and unchanged. We desire to help individuals experience real life changes that come from a connected life—-connected with God and people who genuinely care for their life. Postmoderns, like generations before them, really cannot stand the hypocrisy they see in "organized religion." They want to experience a real faith that connects them to a real God and real community. It does take a village. Life coaching and mentoring are valuable tools here.
Real Impact
God has us here for a reason; to serve each other. He gives us skills and abilities to do this. We desire to live a life of service. We strive to uphold this value by providing environments to share Jesus and serve others through impact events, parties, local service projects, and global missions. Postmoderns do not respect a faith that does not give back in it's own community. Whether it is soup kitchens, addiction classes, or Habitat for Humanity, we seek to invest our lives locally and make a difference.
At a recent "church at the bar" event, an unchurched person (who will remain nameless) came and took the first steps in getting connected. This person attends a home group and sent me the following statement in a recent email.
Hey I just wanted to say, as someone hugely skeptical about The Church
and its legacy—(be forewarned: I have Pagan tendencies and I have to
confess—only came to your event because I wanted to carve out some time
with my good friend ?????)… the evening was great! I
loved that you took the walls out of conventional church stuff, and I
also appreciated that you were subtle in your message, so that all of us
could access it. Great to see a kind of talk-show style with chairs and a conversation on stage, great to hear a
wonderfully talented band (I think I even kind of hummed along to some
holy stuff at one point— what was I thinking?)…All this to say, I've had many colorful conversations with both ???? in small group about religion, and though I have my own beliefs, what you're out there doing is wonderfully creative and effectively touching my life. Thought you should know.
This is why we are doing what we are doing. And this is why we are doing small groups and this is why you are reading about it. You believe in it too. To see the power of Christ work through relationships to bring people to himself. There is not a week that goes by that this person referred to above does not experience authentic community from the home group. They have not become a follower yet but they are getting closer.
What I have learned in my 19 years of doing groups for builders, boomers and busters is that if we do not get serious about living and doing authentic biblical community in whatever context God puts us, we will not reach the present or next generations…xer's yer's, millennials or whatever they are called. It is that important. So lets get after it and work hard at depopulating hell and populating heaven.
