I was the Small Group Pastor at New Life Church in Gahanna, Ohio, for five years. I am currently the Discipleship Pastor at Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia. I have been a church planter, Christian Education Pastor, Membership Pastor, and an Elder in a local church. Currently, I also oversee the Master's of Religious Education at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.
The reason I tell you this is to let you know that I have a good deal of ministry experience, and I want to talk about one common ministry principle in all of the ministry positions that I have held. It is this: All successful discipleship and leadership development flows from healthy relationships. Jesus modeled this ministry principle for us in his relationship with His disciples. He walked with them. He ate meals with them. He prayed with them. He taught them. He grew tired and weary in ministry with them, and when he laid his head down to sleep at night they were there. Suffice it to say that Jesus was very close to his disciples. So close, that by the end of his ministry he told them specifically, "no longer do I call you servants, but I call you friends."
In the upper room discourse, Jesus gave his disciples a new directive when he said, "A new commandment I give unto you that you love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another." As we look throughout the New Testament we find the "one another" phrase repeated over fifty times with thirty different usages. The reason for this, in my opinion, is simple: If you practice the one another's in the New Testament, you will accomplish the Great Commandment. If we accomplish the Great Commandment, then the world will know that we are Christians and Christianity is a completely different system from this present world.
You may ask what love has got to do with coaching and developing leaders. I believe that, ultimately, it has everything to do with coaching small group leaders. When it comes to coaching small group leaders you must pay very close attention to spending time with them. I like what Jay Firebaugh, pastor of Clear Point Church in Houston, Texas, says about coaching and pastoring leaders: "You must learn the value of wasting time together." When you spend time with your leaders, you are building authentic Biblical community, especially if it is unstructured time. You cannot and should not always approach those allotted to your charge with an agenda. Authentic community means that we spend time in each other's homes, sharing meals, sharing stories, sharing victories, sharing our defeats and, ultimately, sharing our lives together.
Read again what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:16, "Be imitators of me.", and in 1 Corinthians 11:1 when he says, "Follow me as I follow Christ." How can a person follow another person's example without spending time with that person? Notice also the conclusions of Paul's letter when he, by name, mentions all the people that he has labored with in that particular region of the world. I say it again, all successful discipleship and leadership development flows from healthy relationships.
If you are a small group Pastor, let me ask you some questions. How are you doing with your small group leaders and coaches? When was the last time you had them over to your house? When was the last time you visited them at their place of work? When was the last time that you got in the car together and went on a "road trip"? If you are having trouble recalling the last time that you wasted time with your coaches and leaders, then you need to remember the example of Jesus and the example of Paul and get back to the basics of ministry! All successful discipleship and leadership development flows from healthy relationships.
The one ingredient that we must have in order to have healthy relationships is TIME. Take a look at your calendar and count the number of appointments or the number of hours that you have devoted this week to building authentic community with your leaders and coaches. If you are not consistently spending time with them, then you definitely need to get back to the basics of healthy ministry and that is this: "all successful ministry flows from healthy relationships!"
