Hospitality: What is the first thing that comes to your mind? If you are like me, I think of the person who hosts a small group meeting. She—almost always a she, right?—is warm and welcoming, has the spiritual gift of cooking apple pie, and greets each group member with a big hug and a big smile.
Perhaps this notion comes from the definition of this term in Network, the course on spiritual gifts from Willow Creek which I have taught often: "The gift of hospitality is the divine enablement to care for people by providing fellowship, food, and shelter." They further define it by saying that people with this gift:
- Provide an environment where people feel valued and cared for
- Meet new people and help them feel welcomed
- Create a safe and comfortable setting where relationships can develop
- Seek ways to connect people together into meaningful relationships
- Set people at ease in unfamiliar surroundings
For this article, I was assigned the why of hospitality. Easy I thought. Everyone knows what hospitality is and why it is important in small groups.
I started with some research, a word study.
Wow, was I surprised! I learned something, starting with the fact that I had totally misunderstood hospitality. There is a lot more to hospitality than meeting a group member at the door!
I started with a couple of the more standard Bible verses on hospitality, the ones mentioned in Network and some other studies.
Romans 12:13 commands Christians to "practice hospitality." Pretty simple, it appears at first, until you learn that practice is more rightly translated pursue, seek, or run after. So hospitality is not just something we should practice; we should seek it with all diligence.
1 Peter 4:9 tells us to "offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." We are to offer it with joy, not begrudgingly. We offer hospitality out of our calling as Christians to love. Verse 8 says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I found it interesting that 1 Peter 4:9 comes right before a brief statement about spiritual gifts, but it is not a part of that discussion. In fact, I can find nowhere in Scripture where hospitality is listed as a spiritual gift. The commands given are given to everyone in the church. It was, and is, an expectation of how we live our lives as believers whose chief objective is to love.
Hebrews 13:1, 2 commands Christians to "keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." This verse surprised me most for several reasons. First, the verse in the NIV does not use the English word hospitality, but, upon further study, I learned that the Greek word philoxenia is used in all three of these verses. Entertain in Hebrews 13:2 is actually the same Greek word as in the other passages, plus a couple of others in the New Testament. Philoxenia is a combination of two words—philos meaning "affection" and xenos meaning "stranger." It signifies an affection toward strangers. That explains my other surprise in Hebrews 13, the fact that we are directed to be hospitable to strangers, not friends.
I searched through more Scriptures dealing with hospitality and could not find even one instance where it speaks about entertaining or hosting friends; it always deals with welcoming and caring for traveling strangers.
The Holman Bible Dictionary defines hospitality like this:
To entertain or receive a stranger (sojourner) into one's home as an honored guest and to provide the guest with food, shelter, and protection. This was not merely an oriental custom or good manners, but a sacred duty that everyone was expected to observe. Only the depraved would violate this obligation.
This love and care for strangers was held in the highest esteem in ancient times. Holman explains:
Hospitality probably grew out of the needs of nomadic life. Since public inns were rare, a traveler had to depend on the kindness of others and had a right to expect it. … Hospitality was regarded as a sacred obligation by the ancient Greeks and Romans, one that was approved by Zeus, the god and protector of strangers. The Egyptians claimed it as a meritorious deed in life. For the Bedouins, it was an expression of righteousness. The word is not used in the Old Testament, but its elements are recognizable: Abraham and the three visitors (Genesis 18:1-8), Lot and the two angels (Genesis 19:1-8), Abraham's servant at Nahor (Genesis 24:17-33), Reuel and Moses (Exodus 2:20), Manoah and the angel (Judges 13:15), Elijah and the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17:10-11), and Elisha and the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4:8-11).
The Bible supports this esteemed value for entertaining strangers. One of the qualifications for widows to be put on the list of widows who would receive aid was that they show hospitality. Also, a qualification for elders/overseers was that they be hospitable.
Jesus spoke often about the need for His followers to practice hospitality to strangers. In the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25, Jesus told the righteous, "I was a stranger, and you invited me in," and so they were rewarded with their inheritance of the kingdom for their hospitality, among other things. But to those on his left, the unrighteous, he said, "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was … a stranger and you did not invite me in." Loving others enough to serve them and putting those who are needy above ourselves, is a serious matter!
Hospitality works both ways, of course. When Jesus sent out his disciples two by two, he instructed them to take along nothing on their journeys, but to depend on others—strangers—for hospitality.
Hospitality was an essential context for the spread of Christianity in the early days of the church. Several commentaries point this out well:
Without it, the spread of the gospel during the days of the early church would have been greatly impeded. With it, the "church in the house" became a reality (Rom. 16:23; cf. 16:5) (Expos. Comm., p. 133).
Brethren who traveled—think of Paul and his party—others who were persecuted and fled as exiles, some of these being destitute of means, messengers being sent from place to place, were everywhere shown hospitality by fellow Christians. This was a necessity in the world of that day, but it was met with the spirit which considered all Christians as one family, all of them strangers and pilgrims in this world, all of them clinging together as such pilgrims would. Pagans even said that, although they had never seen each other, they treated each other as blood brothers" (Lenski, p. 772).
In Luke 14, Jesus said, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." Is Jesus saying we should never invite our friends—members of our small group, for instance—over to our house for a meal? I do not think so, but He is elevating the idea of inviting outsiders—especially the needy—into these gatherings as well. This may be a huge paradigm shift for many small groups!
Perhaps it is time to make this paradigm change. In their new book, The Externally Focused Church, Rick Rusaw and Eric Swanson persuade churches to step out and serve their communities—changing the relationship between the church and their communities by serving them. Externally focused means focusing as a church on others, not ourselves. It means doing good deeds in order to validate our good news. It means being a church that is going to our communities rather than waiting for our communities to come to us.
I believe that every small group should be externally focused as well. Too many small groups, especially in America, are essentially closed cliques, and I believe that God never intended them to be that way. The current situation in most small groups is antithetical to the very gospel message we study. It is time—way past time—to get our noses out of the Bible and to go and do what it says! (cf. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3; James 1:22). Now, I am NOT saying small groups should discontinue study of God's Word. Bible study and application is essential to growing in our faith. But, so is serving. It is when we step out of our comfort zones, depend on God more, and serve others, that we grow the most.
As small groups put God's Word into practice by serving others, opportunities will arise to invite new people in. Hospitality is much more than just inviting someone into your home, however. It is a way of life for the Christian, a lifestyle of servanthood. It is actually part of the spiritual growth process itself.
Scripture indicates that there are a couple outgrowths of hospitality. First, the church simply enjoys it (Romans 16:23). Hospitality raises the level of joy and fulfillment in God's church as we serve one another in love. Second, showing hospitality helps us to work together for the truth of the gospel (3 John 1:8). I like how The Message puts it: "In providing meals and a bed, we become their companions in spreading the Truth."
Henri Nouwen has said that one of the major spiritual movements in a Christian's life is to go from hostility to hospitality. The way we become more hospitable is to practice hospitality toward the real people God sends us as we are opening ourselves to be used by Him. No one can be hospitable in isolation; we must be in relationship with others. Hospitality is an essential ingredient in authentic Biblical community. That is, a community that is never just inward-focused, but always externally focused—focused on carrying out our misson to make disciples of all nations.
I found the following quote on the Internet as I did a word study on hospitality. I do not know who wrote it, but it summarizes our discussion well:
Without hospitality, Discipleship cannot function—and Discipleship is the quintessential call that Christ gives us, the Church, to do, above all else (Matthew 28: 18-20)! We must be willing to go beyond our preconceived needs, comforts, and ideas to provide an ambiance which contributes to the physical and spiritual growth of people around us. If we do not, how will they know we are Christians? If we do not, how will Discipleship and the growth of the Church happen?
THE purpose of every church—and every group within it—is discipleship. Our call is to "go and make disciples of all nations …" and that call demands hospitality.
