Henri Nouwen once penned these illuminating words:
More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. Â It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Â Still, it is not as simple as it seems. Â My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. Â It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. Â But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn't be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them but you truly love them.
In my opinion, there has been no greater description of how to create an environment where an unbeliever will become aware of the Jesus I know than through doing just that. In order for the unbelieving world to welcome the suggestion of a living, transforming Jesus that can not presently be seen, they must first see a group of people who know Him.They need to experience people doing as Henri Nouwen described, "know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them but you truly love them."When a small group does this together, in the presence of, and for, the not yet convinced unbeliever, Christianity becomes more than a concept.It has, at that point, become a living, breathing representation of the incarnated Jesus.
Small groups are one of the most effective ways to reach an unbelieving world, and Team Evangelism is most potent in the post-modern world. We live in the post-modern world, a world of people who are unapologetically hesitant to believe the Bible is truth.People are cynical concerning what they hear in a preacher's monologue but welcome dialogue on a given topic.They are longing and willing to journey into their past with full understanding that the past affects their present and future. They are longing for a few close relationships rather than involving themselves in a myriad of passive acquaintances. Small groups are the perfect environment for a post-modern person to experience Jesus, as people in the group experience life together. Â It is in a healthy small group that people can see and know that believers are truly giving and receiving love while doing life together in an unpretentious and authentic way.
How do we go about accomplishing this?How does a small group of Christians get someone who may be adverse to what they perceive as this antiquated belief system called Christianity to experience Jesus, the only Person who can bridge the gap between them and God?
First of all, go after the right people. Start with the people God has placed in your life already. When you go to work, when you are with neighbors, when you are at the grocery story, when you are at the family reunion, when you are on the ball field with your kids or at the gym working out (the list could go on and on), you are with people who deserve a relationship with God.
People will come if you will invite them. Dr. Thom Rainer, the founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism and Church Growth at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the current president of LifeWay Christian Resources, while president of the Rainer Group Church Consulting, carried out some revealing polls. His polls show that people would be willing to hear about our faith in a safe environment if simply invited. In fact, 8 out of 10 people who were polled said they would attend church if invited. There is a world of people who you see every day just waiting for you and the members of your small group to welcome them into your circle.
If your small group is so over-churched that, when you ask them, they really do not know any unbelievers, here are a few other ideas that will help in connecting with them.
- Do random acts of kindness in the neighborhood where your group meets. As a group, mow someone's lawn, help carry the trash cans in, fix someone's broken downspout, watch a single mom's kids, etc.
- Hold a block or subdivision party for the neighborhood where your group is meeting.
- Adopt a subdivision. Eddie Mosley, a great friend and small groups pastor at the First Baptist Church of Smyrna, Tennessee, has seen amazing growth in his group members and the group ministry. Some of his groups have chosen to adopt their subdivision. It has become their mission field. In order to get new people into their groups, they do special events on holidays like Easter egg hunt.Knowing your mission field will allow you to have a whole new take on who you can reach for Christ.Most importantly, when you host multiple events in a subdivision or on the block where the group meets, you will meet many, many people with whom you can naturally build a friendship.
- Have your meeting at Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, or Panera Bread Company where people other than church-types gather.
Build a relationship with the people you have invited to your group. Wherever you meet people, you have the opportunity to build a relationship that could lead to an invitation to become part of the life of your group. I hope you noticed that I did not say that you need to build relationships so that you can invite these unbelievers to the group meeting.In fact, for many of the people to whom you are going to show Jesus, you are going to first need to spend the time necessary building a friendship with them individually.Then you can invite them to activities your group is involved in other than the group meeting.Finally, after they sense they are in authentic relationship with you and the group members, ask them if they would like to come to a small group meeting. Please do not misunderstand the intention of building this relationship. These people should never be seen as the group's project. They must be viewed as equal partners in the journey to faith.The only difference is that they have not yet stepped across the line where the commitment to Christ is finalized.
Building a relationship with someone should be very natural. However, for many of us who do not even know our next door neighbors, this can be a major step. A few things to keep in mind… First, find out what activities you and the people you are wanting to get to know have in common. If you both golf, go golfing. If they are into shopping and you are too, go shopping. If they are movie buffs (this is a great start for many of us as it provides a conversation piece for the after-the-movie discussion), hit a movie together. I think you get the idea. Secondly, invite them to your home to do something relaxing that is low pressure. Welcoming someone to your home tells them you are enjoying their company and would like to get to know them better. Playing cards, watching a sporting event on television, barbequing together, etc. are great ways to get to know one another. Over time, guide the conversation to deeper levels of communication.
Invite the unbeliever to join the group in a non-aggressive activity. At some point, when your small group is getting together for an activity that would not be intimidating to the individual you are trying to reach, invite them. You may need to continue to make these kinds of experiences the connection between the unbeliever and the group for quite some time. What you are looking for is a time when you know the unbelievers you and the group are getting to know are a "person of peace." A person of peace is someone who is prepared to hear about the Christian faith. When Jesus commissioned the seventy-two disciples to go ahead of Him telling about the kingdom of God, He gave them these directions, "When you enter a house, first say, 'Peace to this house.' [6] If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you. (Luke 10:5-6) There will be some people God puts you in contact with who are persons of peace the first day you meet them. However, many, many people today are willing to hear about Jesus only after they know people well whose lives He is affecting on an ongoing basis. The group meeting will be a big step for many non-believers, a step that takes them into a world where the Kingdom of God is the centerpiece of the conversation.
Invite them to the group meeting.In time, if there is a connection between the group members and these persons/this person, it will be a very natural thing to invite them to join the group for meetings.
I am often asked, "What should we be careful about in our discussions when an unbeliever joins us in the group meeting?" My answer is, "Absolutely nothing." In fact, being transparent with unbelievers in the room may be what takes them to the real Jesus. Joel Comiskey in his book, How to Lead a Great Cell Group Meeting So People Want to Come, says this. "Transparent sharing in the small group reveals to non-Christians that believers are indeed not perfect—just forgiven. One of Satan's chief tactics is legalistic deception, trying to convince people that God requires unreachable standards and that only "good" people enter heaven. Small-group evangelism corrects that misconception. Open sharing gives unbelievers a new sense of hope as they realize Christians have weaknesses and struggles too." He follows his statements with a word from Jay Firebaugh (Cell Church magazine, Summer 1999, 11). Jay gives us these words of wisdom, "So when an unbeliever shows up in your cell, do everything the same (except pray silently that the Holy Spirit will reveal to the visitor his or her need for Jesus). If you carry on your gathering as usual, with Jesus in the midst of the group, the nonbelievers will witness the reality of a true relationship with Christ."
At the appropriate time, tell them how to cross the line into a relationship with Jesus. If the group is praying for God to reveal His love for them and they are seeing Him at work in the lives of the group members, there will, in most instances, come a time when it is right to tell someone how to become a follower of Jesus. Do not miss this opportunity. Be prepared to tell them how you moved from knowing about Jesus to knowing Jesus yourself.
So… Let's change the world by simply meeting people where they are and walking with them until they are part of the story of Christiandom.
Taken from Rick Howerton's book titled, Destination Community.
