As a small group pastor, I sometimes feel that we have taken Jesus' words in Matthew and retranslated them to say, "Go into the world and make intimate small group experiences for everyone." Another one would be, "Go into the world and build an organizational flowchart for ministry, with small groups as the assimilation plan."
Does that sound familiar? If you are like me, you have felt that over the last few years. Also, if you are like me, you have hit a wall of frustration. I was tired of the paradoxes, the complaining, and the apparent confusion that our "simple" strategy produced in the lives of our leaders. I simply hit the wall.
Then Jesus reminded me of what He really said: "Go and make disciples." I thought again—"disciples." Light-bulb time! Discipleship is the goal—spiritual formation and expanding the kingdom of God. The intimate community, fellowship, assimilation, and other things are simply fruits. I began to realize that we have made small groups a whole lot more complicated and have focused on the wrong things as the goal.
Is it really just that simple? He said, "Go and make DISCIPLES"—that is our GOAL.
- Disciples have changed hearts, and hearts that are continually changing.
- Disciples are following Jesus with their whole hearts.
- Disciples have a heart for others.
- Disciples are part of the "body of Christ." Therefore, it requires relationships with others.
- Disciples are NOT FANATICS who abandon all care for themselves and their families for a cause or for the church.
- Our goal then is simple: Spiritual formation, discipleship, and kingdom expansion through the value of relationships.
God has put me through the ringer this summer. I thought the goal of small groups included:
- Building intimacy with others
- Having deep level community
- Simply assimilating new people into a church
Those are great if they happen in our groups, but the goal is much deeper. Those things are simply the fruits of healthy groups. It is accomplishing the Great Commission on a smaller level. It is really, being the church. It is having the DNA of Christ and transforming our hearts so that we can have His heart for people and for our community.
I began to realize something rather profound. We cannot force or create community, fellowship, prayer, ministry, or expansion. That is not our job. It is our role to simply create an environment to build / make disciples.
I often forget why we exist, why a church exists, and why small groups exist. You and your small group are part of a much bigger plan of God. The people in our churches who are currently in small groups, and those who will be joining, are part of a bigger plan than just simply attending a small group. They are a part of something bigger, grander, and eternal that is transforming lives, pushing back the powers of darkness in each others lives, and expanding the kingdom of God. As more people give their lives to Christ, they are discipled, and they begin to lead others.
This all works when it is something with which we are infused. It becomes part of our DNA, and not something we "work at." As small group pastors or small group leaders, it is not fulfilling a task or a duty, but it is someone we are.
Then come the questions, "But I thought that we were supposed to be aiming for community and deeper fellowship?" Or, "I thought that finishing this ministry task was my goal?" If you have been in a staff meeting and your senior leader says, "We need to get all these new people into small groups," then usually the small group pastor feels compelled to make small groups the assimilation tool for the church and makes that his/her goal. Paul said that a "double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." He wasn't kidding! We have been trying to run small groups with a triple or quadruple-minded approach. No wonder we are frustrated.
Here is what I have learned: when we make something our goal, whether we realize it or not, we will ruthlessly protect it and guard it against all other ideas because they are perceived as threats. Now, that is a good thing, if the goal is big enough and God-inspired. However, if we limit our goal of small groups to something as specific as one fruit (intimacy, task, relationship building, assimilation), we will viciously guard against anything changing that! That is where a lot of our friction occurs in small group ministry.
I really questioned this whole fruit thing. I said, "You know, God, I really think that intimate community should be the goal. Like a pear tree, isn't the goal of a pear tree to make pears?" God gave me a clear picture right after that. It was that the goal of a pear tree is to make more pear trees. The fruit is just part of the process, and the longer the fruit stays on the tree, the more it begins to rot. Whoa!
Disciple making should be the DNA of a leader, not something we do; it is someone we are. Knowing Jesus, loving Him, loving others, and teaching them obedience to Christ and His word. As we do that, we will experience fruit that will include some of the richest community and ministry we have ever experienced. We will have the heart of a gatherer, seeking out those who are not connected in some way. People will develop friendships and grow deeper in relationships with others. We will have a heart for expansion, to release people we have discipled to do the same thing for someone else.
Small groups really are not that "small". They are huge because they are part of the much bigger picture of accomplishing the very thing Christ commanded us to do. Let us "go and make disciples."
