"It's a bunch of garbage," Edna, the oldest and most outspoken member of my small group, mumbled.
I had been trained as a leader to sit directly across from the most difficult person.
Tonight, Edna fit the bill.She stared defiantly at me, challenging me to a mental duel.
I prayed silently for help, which was not unusual. I had never facilitated such a diverse group. Six Roman Catholics, three Protestants, and one agnostic. It took all I had to keep everyone on topic without tempers flaring.
The video we watched that night was on finding God's will. I asked the group how they felt about God guiding their lives. Discussion followed, but I noticed Edna was not participating. That was unlike Edna. "What do you think?" I asked her.
"I don't believe any of it," she said, shaking her head in disgust. "It's a bunch of garbage. That guy (on the video) is just a salesman trying to make money."
Everyone stared at her in disbelief. I swallowed and smiled and quickly asked someone else what they thought. Opinions flew back and forth, but Edna stood her ground. She finally got up and left.
I called her when I got home. Would she like to have lunch with me the next day? I was relieved when she agreed to meet me at Ricky's.
A nervous Edna faced me across a booth the following morning. For the next two hours, she told me about her difficult childhood in Holland, the hard war years, and the loss of three babies.
"This is the third time I've taken the course," she whispered, "and I still haven't found peace."
I dug through my purse and pulled out two identical booklets. "Would you mind if we read something together?" I asked her.
She looked around the restaurant as if I had offered her drugs. "Can we go somewhere else?" she asked. "I don't want the waitresses to think you're trying to sell me something."
I paid the bill, and we moved to my car. We then read together about God's love and His plan for each person to have a fulfilling life through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When we came to "all have sinned," I thought Edna would make a fast exit. Instead, she looked up at me with tears streaming down her face.
"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone?"
I promised.
She hesitated and cleared her throat. I squeezed her hand.She then related an incident that had occurred during the war years when she was a young woman. She was certain God had taken her babies to punish her. "You're the first person I've ever told," she concluded.
We read more about God's love and forgiveness. I then suggested we pray together. When we finished, Edna's face glowed. "It's gone!" she exclaimed. "It's like this huge thing has been lifted off of me!"
I cried all the way home. I was so grateful to God for prompting me to recognize a divine moment—the moment when his Spirit was at work in Edna.
Over the years as a small group leader, I have tried to be sensitive to the work of the Holy Spirit in individual members. There are many cues, or signs, but I will only mention five here:
1. Anger
Anger is usually the outward manifestation of inward hurt. Watch for those times when a group member responds with anger such as Edna did. You can be sure a nerve has been hit. Look at these negative outbursts as cries for help, and pray for the Holy Spirit to help you respond appropriately and effectively.
2. Honesty
The Bible says, "When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. "Pray for the Holy Spirit to help your members evaluate themselves honestly. These "moments of truth" can be painful, but they are necessary for spiritual growth.
In a Bible study for new converts, John, a retired airline employee, was concerned about sharing his faith with others. "It would scare me to death if someone came up to me and asked if I was a Christian," he said. " I mean, what if they asked me something about the Bible?I wouldn't have a clue what to tell them!"
Others in the group nodded. John's honesty opened the door for them to express similar feelings. I took the opportunity to share my own struggles and solutions to something common to many Christians, not just new believers.
3. Holy Spirit Moments
Jesus said, "He (the Holy Spirit) will bring glory to me…"(John 15:14a-NIV). Listen to how individuals talk about Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and you will get a glimpse into their spiritual well-being.
Bill, a retired university professor, was in my Saturday morning Bible studies. He did not attend church, but he was intrigued with the Bible. He did his homework, writing long answers in a large notebook.
I noticed, however, that Bill would become uncomfortable whenever we discussed Jesus or the Holy Spirit at length. This was my cue to zero in on his personal connection with God. He recently phoned me to say he is now attending church on a regular basis.
4. Deep Moments
"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God" (1 Cor. 2:10-NIV). What are these "deep things?"How will you know when your group is progressing from milk to meat?Verse 11 gives a clue:"For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him?In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
Deep moments are correct responses to what God is thinking. Submission to God's Word and the Holy Spirit within us is the best evidence of spiritual growth. When the opportunity arises, ask your group members to share those times when they made deliberate choices to obey God. How did they know what God wanted from them?Was it hard to obey?What were the consequences?
5. Using-Their-Gifts Moments
As a leader, you will benefit from recognizing the spiritual gifts God has bestowed on individuals in your group. "The Holy Spirit displays God's power through each of us as a means of helping the entire church" (1 Cor. 12:7-TLB). Although John felt weak in the area of witnessing, the group reminded him that God had given him the gift of encouragement. This gentle man had a way of lifting the spirits of others, inspiring them to reach higher.
Al, on the other hand, had the gift of evangelization. "I have no problem telling others about Christ," he told the group. "It just comes natural, and people seem to respond to me. "Knowing Al as well as I do (he is my husband!), I know he is not bragging. Ever since his Paul-on-the-road-to-Damascus experience with Christ 13 years ago, God has used him to evangelize.
As small group leaders, we need to continually be aware of the Holy Spirit's work in individual members. The best way I know to do this is to look for those responses that tell you He is indeed present. These responses can range from an angry eruption to a testimony. I like to think of them as divine moments – and as my cue for action!
