The structure of stories…
"I had to go pick up my drunk husband at two this morning."
"I regret looking at pornography as a young boy. It's done so much damage to my marriage."
"Right now, I don't like my children."
"From that moment on, I had a difficult time respecting what my dad said."
"I feel betrayed by my parents. They should have protected me from my uncle."
The stories of those in my small group are not Sunday school perfect. They are often painful and messy because our lives are broken and cracked. When we choose to tell our stories, God is able to shine His light through those cracks. God's strength is always shown perfect in our weakness.
Sharing stories is vital to spiritual growth. Imagine the gospel without stories or a Savior without tangible solutions. Jesus' three-year earthly ministry revolves around stories. Matthew tells the story of the Centurion whose servant lies dying but is saved by a powerful faith. Mark sheds light on healing by telling the story of the paralytic and his friends who brought him to Jesus. Luke encourages grace by sharing Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan. John recounts the story of Jesus walking on water to urge others to trust. Stories matter. They build our faith and strengthen our resolve.
Stories touch the heart, turning over the soil that cradles the seeds of God's truth. Telling stories involves:
Self-revelation—As the leader, be a model by telling your story. Your vulnerability and the power of your story will break down walls behind which those in your small group may hide. Soon those in your group will begin to share pieces of their lives, admitting their weaknesses and a caring, committed Christ will reveal himself.
Trust—Make sure your small group has some sort of covenant that talks about the issue of confidentiality. Revisit the importance of confidentiality every time you begin a new study or someone new joins your group. As an environment of trust is created, more people will feel safe enough to tell their stories.
Outreach—A personal story tells those in your group that they are not alone, that they are not the only one who has suffered. Stories reach out and touch others with grace.
Restoration—Stories connect people who have had similar experiences. Working through issues of forgiveness can be difficult and often painful, but knowing that someone understands can powerfully increase faith, strength, and boldness. Even long distance relationships can move towards restoration through a local connection.
Yearning for more—When someone tells a victorious story of pain and suffering, others long to experience the same victory. Stories can encourage others to walk by faith.
Structuring the small group meeting around stories is imperative for discipleship. Consider creating story-telling opportunities by:
- starting each small group meeting with a barrier breaker. Each question, humorous or serious, will allow your group members to share a piece of their story.
- using worship time to offer God thanksgiving for what He has done in your life during the past week.
- asking application questions during the Bible study portion of the group meeting.
- encouraging those in your group to pray for personal needs and help with applying the day's lesson to his or her life.
- challenging each person to reach out to others out of his or her need.
Those in my small group are far from perfect, but we are experiencing God move in and through us as we deepen our intimacy with Christ by sharing our stories. Often our stories are ones of victory.
"Being in this small group has made me feel so normal. I'm not the only one who struggles."
"Last night, I just listened to my daughter. I didn't try to fix her problems."
"My husband and I talked last night. I felt like he heard me."
"I don't have to pretend when I'm in this group. I can be who I truly am and be accepted."
