I am one of the lucky ones…one of a select few…part of an elite group. I consider myself a part of the brotherhood of mentors. That's right. I actually have a mentor in my life—a good mentor. Not only do I have a mentor, but I am a mentor also. I know I seem to be bragging. In a way, I am. Mostly, I'm just really thankful. Having someone invest his or her life into your life is awesome. There is nothing like it. Sometimes, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Mentoring does not happen every day to everyone. In this article, I want to share my relationship with my mentor, and I hope this will help you get started in your own mentoring relationships.
About four years ago, Don invited me to join his men's small group. At some time during the group, Don noticed I had potential to lead a group of my own. He also noticed the passion I had for community and for transformation. Don then trained me to be a small group leader. He also gave me the opportunity to start leading my own group. Over time, he asked if my wife and I would consider coaching other small group leaders. After much prayer and consideration, we decided to give it a shot. Again, Don trained and coached us as we coached others. Then as time went on, he provided me with opportunities to lead and manage the small group ministry at our church. Today, I am a full-time small groups pastor. I believe I am where I am today because of Don's mentoring over the past four years. I've never attended Bible college and I Don't have a seminary degree, but I am now in full-time Christian ministry because one man invested in me and trained me for ministry.
As I've looked back on our relationship and thought about what Don has invested in my life, I've discovered four main mentoring principles:
First, Don spent time with me. Whenever our busy schedules allowed it, we would get together. We would go out to lunch. We might meet on Saturday mornings to talk. I would attend classes Don taught at the church. We sat in meetings together. We talked on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. In all these different settings, Don was always mentoring me. During lunches, Don would inquire about my spiritual life or the condition of my marriage. When he taught classes, he was teaching me how to effectively communicate God's Word. In meetings, he showed me how to build a team and communicate a vision. Most of my learning came from spending time with Don in a variety of settings. Like Jesus, mentors use normal, everyday situations to teach and mentor. Time together is an important aspect of the mentoring process.
Second, Don gave me opportunities. Don gave me opportunities to find my fit for ministry. He gave me plenty of chances to try different ministry experiences. One time he let me co-teach a class with him. Another time, he let me sit with him in one-on-one meetings with people. Don also gave me a chance to counsel people about their spiritual growth. Through this trial and error, we discovered that small groups were a perfect fit with my passion and spiritual gifts. However, I don't think we would have discovered this if we didn't try the others. Mentors don't try to create a "Mini-Me," they delight in helping others find their unique contribution to the Body of Christ.
Third, Don provided resources. Since both Don and I are avid readers, this gives him a prefect chance to continue teaching and mentoring me with the help of others. Don gives or recommends books to me. He also gives me material to read and study. He has given me tapes to listen to. In the past, Don took me to conferences. He has always put resources in my hands. Mentors should wisely use outside resources in their mentoring relationships.
Finally, and most importantly Don believed in me. When we started our mentoring relationship, no one would have guessed I would end up in full-time vocational ministry. I was young, inexperienced, and immature, but for some reason, Don saw through that and invested in me. He has always been my biggest cheerleader. Even when I doubted myself, Don believed in me. I doubt he ever thought I would end up where I have, but I'm sure he knew his contribution to me would pay-off in the long run. Mentors must pass along confidence to their people. There are too many hills and valleys along the way for people to lose hope. Mentors encourage, love, support, and nurture throughout the whole mentoring process.
If you are mentoring another person or are thinking about starting to mentor another person remember these four things Don did for me. Spend time with them. Give them opportunities to serve. Provide them with resources. And believe in them. Trust me; you will never know what impact you can have on another person.
