Did you know that the word "coach" did not originally come from the English language? It comes from the Hungarian "kocsi", which means coach or bus. In 1556, it was used for the first time in England (source: http://encdine.ncdnet.org/en01/en01.html).
What is a coach? It is a vehicle that brings you to your goal. Rather than a bus, a coach is a person who helps you get from point A to point B. He or she helps you reach your goals.
Coaching is more about listening and asking questions, and not as much about giving advice. Coaches help small group leaders analyze their problems, brainstorm options, find solutions, and make decisions. Beyond that, an important part of coaching is to come alongside small group leaders and help them to implement their plans long-term.
Most people find it easier to generate options and make decisions when they have a support system—a coach. They find it difficult, however, to stay on track and implement long-term goals when they do not have a support structure—a coach.
Some goals that coaches can help small group leaders set and achieve might include: deepening the leader's "walk," resolving conflict, raising up an apprentice leader, assimilating new members into the group, pushing group members into new areas of growth, or multiplying the group. It is not really because small group leaders are not able or skilled to implement these plans, it is just that long-term plans and vision and mission "slip" without a support structure. Reminders are needed. Coaches can help their small group leaders establish structures that will remind them of the goals they have set out to reach.
But, what if you are a small group leader and you do not have a small group leader coach? You do not have someone helping you get from point A to point B. Maybe the senior pastor or other leaders in your church are cheering you on, but beyond that, you do not have a coaching vehicle established for you or other small group leaders. If you are in this situation, it does not mean you cannot be an effective and empowered small group leader. It simply means you need to be proactive in finding ways to get alternative small group leader coaching that will help grow you and your ministry.
Here are six ways you can get small group leader coaching when you do not have a coach:
1) Partner with another church that is doing small group ministry and has a small group director.
Do you know of other churches in your area that have some experience in moving people into small Christian communities? Find out who directs the small group ministry effort there and offer to take them out to lunch. Tell them about your small group situation. Be open and ready to discover some "next steps" that you may need to take in your
leadership. Then, try to formulate some action plans for taking those next steps. Do not abuse the privilege, but offer to go out to lunch again in the future for follow-up. As a small group director at a local church, I have had several small group leaders from other local churches contact me. I believe most small group directors will be eager to meet and help you.
2) Join an email/Internet coaching forum.
The Internet has opened up a new world of opportunities for "distance coaching". You may be able to connect with a small group coach/director at another church by exploring online directories of churches with small groups such as:
http://smallgroups.com/churches/ or
http://www.cellgrouppeople.com/...
Also, there are emerging online group forums that allow you to post a question about small group ministry and receive ongoing dialog. A couple of these types of coaching forums can be found at:
http://smallgroups.com/smalltalk/
http://www.easumbandy.com/coaching.html
3) Join a tele-coaching group.
Like Internet-based coaching, the telephone can be used to do personal coaching or even group conference call coaching between several leaders and a coach. There are a few emerging ministries that are offering the ability to connect with expert coaches through conference calls. Here are a couple of links:
http://www.churchteams.com/GrowthFinder.asp
http://lifetogether.solutioncart.com/coaching4.asp
4) Hire a coaching consultant.
While paying for your own coaching may not be the most practical alternative, it may be a better value than you think. There are lists of small group trainers and consultants at: http://smallgroups.com/.../Trainers_and_Consultants/.
Additionally, some coach/consultant alternatives may be found through your denominational channels or through seminaries affiliated with your church.
5) Find a mentor in your own church.
While there may not be an experienced small group leader coach in your congregation, there may be spiritually mature leaders with whom you can build a mentoring relationship. Such a person can help you analyze your problems, brainstorm options, find solutions, and make decisions. If you cannot find extra time to develop such a relationship, then consider inviting a potential mentor to be a part of your small group.
6) Team up with another small group leader.
Sometimes when group leaders intentionally get together with other group leaders for encouragement and accountability, it is called "peer-to-peer coaching". Meeting regularly with another group leader creates a cooperative coaching vehicle for each group leader. This arrangement works best when you have a list of pre-determined questions that you will ask each other when you meet. Those questions can be developed at your first meeting. A few possible questions can be found at: http://smallgroups.com/.../092002news/toc.shtml
Additionally, here are a few examples of other activities you can do with another small group leader to stimulate your cooperative coaching effort:
- Post-it notes on the desk: Little sticky notes help us to remember many issues that need to be addressed on a daily basis. Why not use them as reminders of goals and plans agreed upon in coaching sessions?
- Email: If your peer-coach is using Outlook or similar calendar software, setting a daily or weekly alert by email to review goals, plans, milestones, etc. is a powerful yet simple method.
- Jogging with small group leaders: This is a great way to motivate them by letting them know they do not face their goals and plans alone.
- Have peer-coaches over for dinner twice a month: You can create a coaching "vehicle" just by meeting together regularly, reminding each other of goals, encouraging, and keeping each other accountable.
