It was a defining moment in Jesus' relationship with his disciples. John 13 says that Passover evening started with an amazing hands-on illustration of fully extended love. This was followed by a lively discussion on betrayal. Out of the tension of these discussions, Jesus shared a vision of a reality not yet seen—a reality where Christians loved each other like He loved them and where those far from Christ were drawn closer to Christ because of the love they saw in His followers (v. 34,35). I think Jesus might have been looking down through history to see small groups of believers whose relationships were so real and so contagious that people were relationally drawn to join them, to find Christ, and to enter the front door of His church.
In his book, Mark of a Christian, Francis Schaeffer, commenting on John 13:34-35, states "We cannot expect the world to believe that the Father sent the Son, that Jesus' claims are true, and that Christianity is true, unless the world sees some reality of the oneness of true Christians." (www.ccel.us/schaeffer.html) This quote has been lodged in the back of my mind for more than a decade. I have both sensed and seen its truth. It was natural for me to invite my unconvinced friend who coaches my daughter's soccer team to join a men's group I started last fall. I cannot tell you how cool it was to watch him pray with the girls for the first time a couple of weeks ago before a game. I remember another friend coming to Christ a few years back through the influence of the small group that I led at that time. I think this is happening under the radar all over the place in our small groups. We did a survey recently and half of our small group leaders said that at least 2 or more people had attended their group before attending a weekend service. I may be slow, but I think God might just be up to something. Here are a few ideas on how to fan this flame within your church and small group.
First of all, get over what I will call separation anxiety. Most of us were taught that Christians and non-Christians are two different kinds of people and profoundly separated from each other. We feel like every now and then we need to raid the other side of the chasm to try to drag people across to our side, and we call this evangelism. If you go on enough of these raids across the bridge, over time, they create anxiety. Something just does not feel right about this and, being socially aware and able to read non-verbals, we lose our zeal for such "warfare". I cannot tell you how freeing it was for me when I realized that the separation is not between me and my friends who do not know Christ. In fact, I have more in common with some of them than I do other believers. The separation is between my friends and Christ. When I release this separation anxiety and embrace my friends where they are, I have found that it is no big deal, really, to let them into every part of my world – especially my small group. This is simply called being a friend.
Secondly, share the leadership role in your small group. Small groups are meant to be the place where community is built. They are not supposed to be a classroom. I was amazed in our groups when I began challenging them to share the leadership, especially facilitating the discussion. Last week, the newest believer in our couples' small group, who came to Christ in January, led our discussion. Was it led like a pro? No, but it was genuine community, and there were a few of us in the group who inserted an occasional question or helped the discussion along. This makes the group a safe place for authentic living and discussion. It also demonstrates the love and unity Jesus saw millennia ago.
Thirdly, serve together. Jesus demonstrated love by washing the disciple's feet. Your group might be able to find a ministry in your church to affirm or appreciate. Our small group recently grilled burgers for our Celebrate Recovery group as a way of loving and serving them. Get involved with a local mission, paint a school classroom together, or adopt a fire station. Our small groups have done all of these. Serving may be the most profound expression of love and unity, and it really grabs the attention of those who do not yet know Christ personally.
Finally, pray. When you spend time with God in prayer, He will reveal his heart to you. Then, respond to his prompting by asking a question, making a phone call, or welcoming an unconvinced friend into the Christian relational world of your small group. If your group is healthy, you will be amazed at how God uses your group to convince your friends that Jesus is real and that your church is the place to get to know Him better.
