In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes, "God intends for us to experience life together. The Bible calls this fellowship … real fellowship is so much more than just showing up at services … It includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other 'one another' commands found in the New Testament."
I had to learn that truth the hard way.
My philosophy of life was primarily shaped by my life experience. I grew up in a single parent home with my two older sisters, a cousin, a widowed aunt, and my mom, who worked her fingers to the bone, trying to make ends meet. Since my mom worked around the clock and my father showed up once a year at Christmas, usually drunk, I was on my own most of the time. I defined my success by accomplishments, acquiring things, and making money.
"Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto," Warren writes in his book. But I didn't, which made me believe that if I was going to succeed in life, I would have to do it on my own strength. I didn't believe anyone else would be willing to help me—especially God.
One day, a girl I had been dating for several years told me she had found Jesus. Because of that event, my life took a significant turn.
Reluctantly, I decided to join a few guys who were doing a Bible study on the life of Christ. I'd never talked openly about the Bible, Jesus, and what it meant to have a relationship with him. Those five guys were so gracious with my cynical attitude, challenging questions, and fears about placing my trust in a God I couldn't see. They could imagine how scary it was to trust a heavenly father after growing up with a very distant and disappointing earthly father.
Through the lives of those men, I was ambushed by the love of God, and I no longer wanted to do life alone. I wanted what they had—a relationship with God and other believers.
That year, my girlfriend, who is now my wife of over 20 years, saw me give my heart and life over to the one who gave us life together.
From that point on I was never the same. I redefined "winning in life." It wasn't about accomplishments, status, and money anymore, but about living a healthy and balanced life of purpose, best achieved by:
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Connecting in life with a few friends and family on a deeper level than ever before in the context of a small group community (fellowship).
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Growing in my spiritual journey through the encouragement and accountability of a few friends to help me be more like Christ (discipleship).
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Developing my unique SHAPE for the purpose of ministry to others, not just my own selfish ambitions (ministry).
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Sharing my life mission with others, because it's scary and difficult to do alone (evangelism).
- Surrendering my heart to God and others for prayer and support as an act of worship to God (worship).
Grow and Go
After being in that group only a few months, my leaders asked if I would be willing to "grow and go" to the next level in my walk with God. He said, "You really don't know if you have it until you give it away."
He encouraged me to do as Jesus did—create my own circle of friends by asking God whom he wanted me to connect with and deciding whom I would enjoy spending time with for at least six weeks. He challenged me to call the few people God brought to mind, as a step of faith.
I was just crazy enough to do it—and the rest is history. Two of those men asked Christ into their lives, and several others became lifetime friends. One of them even stood as the best man in my wedding.
Maybe you're not in a group, but have been inspired by reading The Purpose Driven Life. You know that God wants you to be transformed by the purposes for life. This transformation process begins when you ask the question, "What am I going to do today with what he has revealed to me?"
Start by connecting with a few friends in a small group or establishing a spiritual partnership with a friend. Here is a simple ABC strategy to make your connection happen today.
Ask God, "who?" With whom does God want you to learn, share, grow, and apply God's truths? Think of your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, schoolmates, and anyone else God brings to mind. Also, consider who you would enjoy spending time with for a few weeks. Write the names down as God brings them to mind.
Begin calling today! Once you have a name or two in mind, call them today, and see if they would be willing to share their thoughts and ideas with you for a few weeks.
Once one person says yes, you may be tempted to limit it to just the two of you. However, by inviting a few others, you have created a meeting you all look forward to each week. Most people you ask have one or two other friends who would love to join, too.
Remember, you don't need 20, 10, or even 5 people for a sufficient group. The Bible says, "Where two or more have gathered, he is in their midst." The important thing is that you start with at least one other person so you can "do life together."
Check out curriculum. For many people, a study book may give them all they need to interact, but others might benefit from a DVD or video teaching series; these keep discussion flowing. Once you choose the curriculum, you may want to host an open house for your members and preview the series you choose. At this point, they can also pick up and take home the curriculum.
God desires each of us to live a good life, but he never intended us to live it alone. He modeled this with the 12 disciples. It's fascinating that many of my Christian friends (and even church leaders) ride alone like the Lone Ranger, missing out on the joy of deeper and more significant relationships with the body of Christ.
I'm ashamed to admit I have done this as well during different seasons of my life. Even after serving as the Small Group Champion at both Willow Creek and Saddleback Church, it took my wife and me several years before we created a new circle of friends. Now, I would do anything for them as they would for me.
"Doing my life" with others has taught me some of life's greatest lessons—especially that winning in life is best experienced not alone, but together.
