Isaiah 41:4 says, "Who has prepared and done this, calling forth and guiding the destinies of the generations from the beginning? I, the Lord—the first and with the last—I am He" (Amplified Bible). As the generations were created by the Almighty God, "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder"!
From generation to generation, the responsibility of every believer is to pass on their faith to the next, and parents are given a Biblical mandate to disciple their children (Psalm 145:4).
Joshua spoke with a clear authority, with boldness. He committed himself and his household to be different, to look different, and to serve a different God from those around him when he said, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" Joshua 24:14-16. Â
I see a struggle for the healing of families, for families who will "serve" God together. This is the cry of the church which wants to see families committed to serve Jesus whole heartedly. It is a message that comes through the sermons, through the small groups, and in many other ways. However, in so many churches there is no model to say it can be done, no way to live out the message in the life of the local church
If we cannot be vulnerable, worship, reach out, pray, and serve together within the context of church, how can we preach the message of families serving together?Many will organize a celebration service at regular intervals to fulfill the need for families to come together. However, often in that context, there is little or no opportunity to form relationship or interaction. Relationship is the essence of unity.
The small groups would seem to be the ideal place for families to come together.
In secular society we can read of many attempts to bring about empowerment through one generation caring for another. This is seen, for example, in mentoring teenagers, family counseling, and with volunteer grandparent figures for children who have none.Â
However, I have seen people disillusioned as they have tried to repair these generational gaps in their churches, mostly by introducing new structures with generations whose hearts were not committed to each other. Malachi 4 says, "Before the great and terrible day of the Lord, I will send the Spirit of Elijah and He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers, or else I will strike the land with a curse." The "Spirit of Elijah" is here. It is a new day, and God is bringing restoration to the generations as He turns the hearts of a generation of fathers to the children.Â
In many places, community is being established through small groups of people who are committed to "Love God, love each other, and love the lost." Some of these are made up of members from different generations, from children to the elderly. Many are called "Intergenerational" and are open to any families joining together. Through these small groups, unredeemed paradigms are being challenged which is never an easy process!
We have become so familiar with living independently from other generations that it may feel uncomfortable and strange to learn to be vulnerable, evangelize, and disciple across the generations. However, this can be a powerful expression of God's original plan that "by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, when you have love one for another" (including across families and generations!).
In practice, here are 10 ways that cross-generation groups can be facilitated:
- Prototype your first small group with emotionally healthy adults and children that are visionaries for intergenerational community.
Ideally, these need to be a mixture of singles, couples, and families. In this early stage, it is important that other members of your church can see that this is about the generations, not just about families or children. This small group needs to be a success and an inspiration to others that will follow. From this small group can come a source of support, help, and encouragement in the early days of pioneering.
- Give small group members the opportunity to take into their hearts the values that underpin the groups.
These include understanding God's purposes and plans for the generations as portrayed in the Word of God from Genesis to Revelation! One of the foundational values that is lived out is restoring to parents the role of primary disciplers to their children. God uniquely anoints them, but many feel unsupported and ill equipped. The small group can provide safety and support as they are empowered for this God-given responsibility. There can also be "fathers for the fatherless" of all ages. Many singles are restored as "He puts the solitary in families", and children are given the generational blessing they were created to receive.
- Take plenty of time to research and find out about good models through reading, conferences, consultation, and email consultation.
Many of the mistakes that are made could be avoided if there had been more thorough preparation. Ideally, this preparation can also take place for the children within children's ministry as they transition into intergenerational small groups.
- Always start a newly formed small group with a Kid's Slot.
This is when the children (or adults) go into a different room after the time of welcoming and worship. They continue with the Word and focus on evangelism as they take the same application as the adults. This is generally called a "Kid's Slot" and can be facilitated by any member(s) of the small group who are known and who have been in the small group for a period of time. It is a time where the children discover more about the people in their community, and members of their community discover more about them. They build relationship with each other and their Heavenly Father and understand their part in reaching their friends and relatives for Jesus!
- Find good, tried and tested small group meeting materials to use in the first few months.
This will prevent the small group from becoming too childish or too academic. Either of these will be inappropriate for both children and adults! When all ages are being challenged and fruit can be seen in every age group, then you will know that you have "pitched it" right.
- Implement a small group agreement and keep it operational.
Right at the beginning it is important for the children and adults to have ownership of an agreement that can be regularly reviewed. This is an agreement on issues such as how each member will respect host homes, how they will respond to other members, how the issue of discipline will be addressed, and anything else where people have different standards and boundaries. The children can discuss various issues independently of the adults and then adults and children can compare their ideas and reach an agreement. If this is reviewed at regularly stated times (e.g. every two months), then many unnecessary conflicts can be avoided in the small group.
- Give children some ownership of the small group.
Ask their opinions and advice, give them appropriate responsibility, and have faith in them to serve through the gifts of the Spirit and minister to other age groups. Everyone will benefit!
- Remember the principle "as with adults."
Although children do have special needs, the following principle will make it possible for anyone to facilitate an intergenerational small group. In any situation where they are unsure what to do in relation to a child, ask "What would I do if an adult was in this situation?"
- If a child is sick, visit him (as with adults).
- If a child does not want to go to the meeting, spend time talking with him to find out what the problem is (as with adults).
- If a child does not participate, break into twos or threes so he can be drawn out (as with adults).
- Have an expectation that the children will be active participants in the group (as with adults).
- Disciple them, equip them, and empower them to reach the lost (as with adults).
- Equip the parents to be disciplers of their children.
The church can disempower parents by structure and by giving the impression that others are "experts" in the realm of children or young people. The small group can empower and support parents and families on a mutual basis.
- Pray, fast, and more prayer and fasting.
Implementing these small groups is reclaiming ground from the enemy. It is spiritual warfare. While we do not underestimate the power of the evil one, we also know that Jesus has the power to restore and redeem "not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord".
These simple, yet effective, tools will help facilitate the vision in the hearts of group members. I was driving through our city this summer and I saw children and teenagers, children and their parents, teenagers and adults—in twos and threes—walking the streets as they prayer walked and delivered the Jesus video to homes as a part of a city-wide initiative. I was so moved as I realized that together they were taking the Kingdom of God. Â
An intergenerational small group was meeting, and one member was absent with a migraine headache. The cell leader asked a child to pray for her. "Dear Lord Jesus, please make her better, take away the pain, and don't let her die. Amen" prayed the child. The adults laughed and spent some time reassuring the child that she would not die. The next day the cell leader called to see how the migraine was. "Haven't you heard?" was the reply. "It is meningitis!" She did not die!!
